Anxiety Series #3 But, I huff and I puff and it still won't stop ringing. What am I missing?
- SonyaMonty
- May 30
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 26
My apologies for my tardiness. Life has been extra busy over the last few months and between supporting the launch of John's new novel and prep for a family wedding there has been little time to catch up on my blogs. Hopefully that will begin to settle over the next few weeks.
As mentioned in my previous anxiety series post #2, our alarm system, AKA anxiety, can be overly sensitive. It can trigger at the slightest whiff of a threat, or as many people experience, even at the remembrance of a threat.
You might recall from the last post, the story of my grandchildren trying with all their might and energy to fan the errant smoke alarm with their pillows and having ineffective results. They simply were not tall enough to reach the alarm, and their efforts, though done with gusto did not bring about the desired resolution. It can be the same scenario for some people in their attempts to manage their heightened anxiety response. Attempts at various breathing techniques, whether its "deep breathing", or "square breathing" leave them feeling like my grandchildren. Lots of effort with little result. Their alarm system continues to ring, and they are left feeling that they must be "broken" or that "this is how I am and I can't be helped". The conclusion that is sometimes drawn is that "breathing just doesn't work for me". N.B.*
What is missing? These people are diligent in their efforts and in fact, they are usually well equipped with an arsenal of tools and strategies that come with very well researched pedigrees. Said tools, by all logical reasoning, should help them feel like they are in the Bahamas lying on a stunning sunset beach, with a cocktail in hand and with not a worry in their world. It isn't for the lack of effort that the desired result eludes them.
Perhaps the answer lies not only in the "what" - as breathing is correctly, the one way we have to communicate to the alarm part of our brain, but equally as important, in the "how". Having worked professionally with thousands of people struggling to manage their anxiety response (fight/flight, panic attack) I have concluded from both the practical experiences, and through research, that there is a method that is naturally effective. It uses our body's natural "sigh of relief". Our sigh being the natural way that our body resets the changes that have happened to prepare our body and mind for fighting or fleeing, when our alarm thinks that we are in danger. The exhale is the key. With this in mind I've used the following diaphragm breathing exercise extensively and have found that it is highly effective when used individually and even more effective when used in co-regulation with another person.
N.B. *(There are rare instances of individuals who have a condition called "Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome (MALS) an anatomic abnormality which causes constriction on various arteries and which may exacerbate panic symptoms. If you find that Diaphragm Breathing increases your symptoms then please discontinue using it and see your doctor.)
To help you with your journey to learning how to manage your natural anxiety response please find:
1. Written instructions below for Diaphragm Breathing.
2. A free PDF download of reminder cards below - for you to print and hand out if it's helpful.
3. Let me know in comments if you would like a guided breathing audio.
Instructions: Do the exercise three to four times for maximum effect and use it whenever you notice any symptoms of anxiety (see Anxiety Information Sheet - 01 from the Centre for
Clinical Interventions below). It's particularly helpful when you cannot sleep (it slows the racing thoughts).
Firstly - I invite you to sit on a chair and ground yourself by feeling your feet on the ground, your backside on the seat, and your back into the back of the chair. Take a moment to feel your safety.
If you are comfortable to do so, place your hand on your stomach and breathe into your lungs deeply for 6 seconds - (picture yourself blowing up a balloon as full as you can. Your breath needs to go down to the base of your lungs, and you should see your hand on your stomach push out).
Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
Breathe out through your mouth for 10 seconds. (Not a dump of your breath but like you're blowing through a straw.)
Template for Cards.
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